Misleading performance claims in parallel computations

In a previous humorous note entitled "Twelve Ways to Fool the Masses ... ," the author outlined twelve common ways in which performance figures for technical computer systems can be distorted. In this paper and accompanying conference talk, the author gives a reprise of these twelve ldquomethodsrdquo and give some actual examples that have appeared in peer-reviewed literature in years past. I then propose guidelines for reporting performance, the adoption of which would raise the level of professionalism and reduce the level of confusion, not only in the world of device simulation but also in the larger arena of technical computing.