How the Fast Fourier Transform Got its Name

Everyone agrees that the Fast Fourier Transform (FFT) has revolutionized digital signal processing. However, no one knows with certainty the true history of the FFT. I had been as confused as everybody else until one day when I found in an old book store at Harvard Square a manuscript by Kipling which contained some unpublished Just-So Stories, one of which was entitled, "How the Fast Fourier Transform Got its Name." The time has now come to publish this historical account to quiet all rumors and hearsay.